I can´t believe this year is already over! I mean, hello, where are you 2017? I remember when I was a little girl and I always found that time goes by so slow and I would never grow up, and Christmas takes double the time to come back and when I was (finally) 18, this turned around and now I try to catch every piece of time I can get. It´s actually quite overwhelming that I am going to turn 20 in January! I mean this is the second birthday with a zero at the end! But okay, this is something I can´t change, I can only make the time I have the most valued one. Let´s take a look back on 2017!
I have to say that 2017 was a very good year for me when it comes to “business” (this includes school, university etc.), but on the other hand personally it was a really bad year. This started in January and reached the highest point after my A-Levels. Something in my body was not right, I was ill very often, tired all the time and just generally did not feel good in my body. Also I have to say that I was really focussing on all the school stuff and I did not eat very good and I did not do sport on a regular basis. I know that is the least creative resolution for 2018, but I want to get back into a healthier routine, just to feel myself again. After finishing my A-levels I also had an inflammation in my gullet, which was very painful for three months until they found out that I suffer from acid reflux. I made some changes in my diet and reduced the amount of coffee I drink, but it is a constant struggle. I hope that this will get better over time.
Looking back on my life, 2017 might have been the year with the most changes ever. At the beginning of the year, I had no idea what I wanted to become later, but it was the year I had to decide on that, that was a real struggle for me. I decided then to go for the easiest option, because with my A-Levels around the corner I did not want to think about that. My parents were fine with my decision, but in the end my dad convinced me to at the least try to get into university and I have to say that has been the best decision of 2017 and I learned a lot from that. Firstly the easiest way is not the best and also not the one that makes you happy in the end and, secondly sometimes your parents are right. I got accepted into university, which was something I was so happy about, because I did not thought I would. I was very proud of myself!
In June I finally finished school with an “excellent success”. I think I was never so proud of myself, but also so relieved. For the whole school year I had that constant fear of failing and being the only one who does not pass and it affected my whole life. Especially after finishing school I feel very let down by the whole education system. Passing those A-levels affected my body, my family, my mood and until today I don´t know why! I know how to calculate functions I will never ever see in my life again, but I have no clue about the things that I need daily. Opening a bank account with right conditions, what does the percentage on my credit card mean, what do I have to worry about when signing a flat contract. I had to invest so many times do research all these things and to learn to stand on my own two legs, although I spent the last 13 years in school learning. Don´t get me wrong I loved my time in school and the people I met there, but in general I am disappointed, disappointed in all the hours I invested to learn things I don´t need in my life. Especially today where time is maybe the most valuable thing we own, I shake my head when I think about it.
In September I moved from Carinthia to Salzburg to live on my own for the first time in my life. I have to say that my feelings were mixed about that. On the one hand I was excited for a new city, new people, being independent, but on the other hand I was really really sad to leave my family, due to the fact that I am a big family and home person. I need a base to function and this includes, the feeling home and my family. Home for me is not one specific place, although I have to say that our house in Carinthia will always be my home. But I worried for no reason, because Salzburg feels more home now, than Carinthia does, which is actually something I never thought would happen. Since moving out the relationship to my siblings is even better, because they write me and tell me what happened and when we see each other then we use the time to play “Monopoly” or do something together. I do not understand why we always have to be apart, to actually value the time we have together. With getting older I actually understand how much time we wasted with fights and argues about nothing in the end. I hope my sister is reading this and does that differently with the little one (Lilly, please listen for once to what I am saying).
Also in September I spent a week with my a couple of the best persons on this planet in my favourite city London. That was a gift to ourselves and I have to say that I loved the time there. We spent time together and it was marvellous, before moving away from each other.
In October, University started, but until today I cannot believe that I can actually call myself a student now. I feel as small and young as ever. Nevertheless, I really enjoy the university and for the first time in my life, I know why I go there and spent my time there. I am curious about the things we learn and I enjoy learning. But I have to admit it was a really big change, because I was used to going to a school with 180 students, and I knew everybody, but at the University of Applied Sciences in Salzburg I am glad if I remember the names of my 38 classmates. To be honest, I love it that not everybody knows me, because as the oldest of four siblings, you were known in school and whenever one of them was not in class or did something wrong, I was the one who was asked where he/she was and I was also told the whole stuff my siblings did. My siblings always hated that they were not able to report anything in return, because honestly I was always the “softy”, and the one who were always the example when our parents were angry with one of us and told us that we all have to be more like me. As a child this was a very comfortable role I can assure you that. Unfortunately as a sibling this brings you in an uncomfortable role, because you want to be a good sibling and don´t want to say anything to your parents, but on the other hands if your parents found out that you knew and did not tell them right away, you had a whole new problem. Therefore I was happy for all the times, the school contacted my mum directly and I came home to my mum saying that this and that has happened.
In December, I passed my first Exam at University which definitely was a special moment for me because it was the first time I really realized that I finished school, I am a big girl now (even tough I am the same height since I was 15). Also in December, I spent Christmas in Sweden, which was a childhood dream come true. And now on new years eve, I am standing in Arjeplog in the north of Sweden and I am just excited for 2018 and all the things that come with it! You better be good 2018, because 2017 was not bad! Therefore I am wishing you all a very happy new year! Become the best version of yourself!